Day 18!!!!!!!

Affirmation: 
So i know i just told you that i was rereading my journal and came across a post from may last year and it blew my mind. I was so naive as to what was to come... i was crazy in love with you and i think because so many of my girlfriends have had the story of riding off into the sunset together that that would be our story. i thought you were so madly in love with me and things were just going to work out and we would get married at Christmas and we would be magically perfect. I also though i'd be going to law school and i had no idea of the jobs yet to come... man what a shocking year... As you know things did not work out exactly as planned. Instead we have probably come through one of the consistently hardest years of my life. I just had no idea what was about to happen, i wish i could go back and warn old me. I was a waitress saving for law school and you were a poor student just over a year ago....and then we went from having a carefree happy relationship in a time where we had no responsibility to carrying what seems like the weight of the world and each having more responsibility than one person could ever handle!!! Yet somehow, even though it seems heavier, harder, deeper and more complicated than my mind could have ever imagined a year ago here we are, our relationship is still standing. I feel like it feels like we were on a sailing trip... everything seemed so good, we were sailing on gorgeous azure oceans, with stunning blue skies, and although we had warnings of storms on one course and our sailing teacher had charted out a different course for us, we took the course we were warned against because it seemed harmless and more beautiful, and then suddenly there was a massive storm and we were shipwrecked and we didn't think we would make it, but somehow we survived it, and i feel like i have this image in my mind of us stumbling onto shore again, and the ocean is beautiful and calm again and the sky is bright blue and the sand is white, and we are dazed and our clothes are ragged and we are all but destroyed... but we made it, and even though it was not what we had in mind on this trip we are where we are now and as we come to terms with it we are starting to re-find the joys in just making it through and of this beautiful place we never planned to be. Yes there is the problem of getting back to where we originally wanted to go, we don't know how to get back, but the great thing is we had a great sailing teacher and he is coming looking for us, he will never abandon us and he is a good teacher so he has given us instructions about how to survive in these situations,  so we are now applying these instricutions and relearning to appreciate his teachings and how to use them now more than ever before because we need them ... a lesson we needed to learn before we could ever move ahead... so even though it was a tough and crazy shipwreck of a year i have to say i am so grateful that we survived it... i feel like we learned some valuable lessons, including the importance of clinging to the warnings and lessons of our teacher, and we have built muscle fighting to save the boat and swimming to shore... so although it wasn't the pleasure sail we had planned we have gained more character and experience in one trip than many others might have learn in a 1000 sailing trips, and now we have so much more wisdom to give, and we know we are capable of surviving, and we know to trust our teacher and lean into him now more than ever.... and i have to say now that we are through the storm and we are done blaming each other and we are taking survey of our situation I am so grateful to be here with you... there is no one i'd have rather rode this one out with, because i'm pretty sure if i'd had any other shipmate we would have sunk... so the fire has come, and we burned to the ground but the foundations are still here and we can rebuild with Christ's help in a better way!

Prayer:

Housing stuff, strength and gratitude, amazing friends who are an awesome support here in Canada, a deep renewal of your relationship with God, clarity in your steps, a sense of home, that i would love you better and more passionately and would stop leading you off course! 

Encouragement:

He told them this parable. "Which of you men, if you had one hundred sheep, and lost one of them, wouldn't leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one that was lost, until he found it? When he has found it, he carries it on his shoulders, rejoicing. When he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!' I tell you that even so there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents, than over ninety-nine righteous people who need no repentance."

— Luke 15:3-7

So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the teachings we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter. - 2 Thess 2:15

You are God's house. I built the lower walls of the house because God showed me the best way to do it. Now another man builds on top of this foundation. Each man must take care how he builds on it. Jesus Christ himself is the foundation. No one can make another one.People build with gold, silver, very fine stones, wood, grass, or straw on top of the foundation. But the day will come when everyone's work can be seen. Their work will be tested by fire and the fire will show what kind of work each one did. If the work a man did is not burned up in the fire, he will be paid for his work. But if a man's work is burned up, he will lose everything. He himself will be saved, like a man pulled out of the fire. You know that you are God's house. The spirit of God lives in you. - 1 Corinthians 3:9-16 

But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. - Matthew 7:14

Inspiration:  

I love you like crazy... in high seas and in the calms of life... because i know as we weather these storms and shipwrecks that one it comes down to our test we will be confident of what we have been taught and we will not be afraid. Perfect love casts out all fear... He is teaching us love.