Stephen - the most beautiful boy in existence

The urban dictionary captures you to the tea i believe...

Stephen - 

The most beautiful boy in existence. Has stunning eyes, that make your heart fall through the floor when they crinkle with his perfect smile. Is deep, unlike most boys, and extremely intelligent. Has a big heart, and he doesn't always know how to say no. Even though he would never admit it, he sometimes's can't see what's right in front of him. An over-analyzer, and very stubborn, but he will admit defeat when he has to. Likes to drive girls crazy, apparently. Easy to fall in love with. Hard to figure out.

Stephen is an innocent and honest person, yet full of unexpected surprises. Stephen is kind hearted and family oriented. He's a devoted Christian and is very passionate about his beliefs while keeping an open mind. He's able to separate himself from others, naturally denying conformity, and unafraid to express his opinions and insight. Stephen can be stubborn, and often doesn't accept losing, but has proven to be an excellent listener. First impressions are often wrong, as he may seem to be quiet, but eventually discovered to be very musically talented and brilliant, his smile will also easily make you smile.  Traditionally your name is defined as: Stephen \s-te-phen\ as a boy's name is pronounced STEE-ven, STEF-en. It is of Greek origin, and the meaning of Stephen is "crown, garland". Variant of Stephanos. Biblical: Stephen was the first Christian martyr. ... and so i think you are a wonderful combination of old and new... you are all of these things and so much more... Stephen my stephen... i love you so much...  i think you are indeed the most beautiful man in existence, you stole my heart (and it indeed DID fall through the floor) the moment u looked into my eyes with your golden brown smiling eyes... You are deep unlike most boys and sometimes it's hard for me to understand or trust because it seems like such a rare and wonderful thing. You have no idea how much i admire the depth of who you are and your incredible intellegence wisdom and  insight into life, occassionally when you use all that intelligence of yours you sideline with me your insight and i have to pretend that what you've just said is not a new idea to me because i am reeling from it and i don't want you to think i'm an idiot as i try to catch up and follow your ideas. You have such a big heart, i love that you wanted to go help L--- from church on Saturday, it honestly touches my heart that you want to take time out of your busy day to help a little old woman, THAT is beautiful! Occassionally it drives me nuts that your heart is so big that you cannot say no, but mostly i admire it, it challenges me to get out my selfishness and commit, which is something i want to do more of, eventually we will learn the balance! Haha and you know i think you can't always see something that's right in front of you, and that it drives me nuts that you overanalyze everything and that you are soooo doggon stubborn, but i have to admit although it drives me nuts, what would drive me more crazy is if you were thoughtless or allowed me to bowl you over with my opinions (even though EVERY once in awhile you could try to agree with me!)... i hope eventually you can admit defeat when you have to, but better yet i hope we grow more and more onto the same side so we can always win together for God's glory, rather than fighting the wrong fights. You absolutely 100% drive girls crazy, and me most of all, you are a total babe and you are incredibly easy to fall in love with... you had me almost right away, even if you are so tricky to figure out!!!  i love and value and treasure your innocence and honesty... it is such a rare thing these days but it really does set you apart, but i have to admit it does make me laugh when you surprise me and say a bad word haha ;). You are so kind... i love how much you care about your friends and how much you love your family, and that these things are a priority to you... i admire your devotion to your faith so much, it is probably the greatest thing that attracts me to you... you are such a man of God and you are becoming more and more of who he created you to be all the time, and i am so excited to see who he is forming you into, i love that you model yourself and your life after Christ... for that makes me certain that as long as you do that that you are a man i want to be with. I love that you are so passionate about knowing our king and having others know him! I love that you don't care what others thing and that you will deny conformity in order to express an insight God has given you even if it's an unpopular one. You stand apart in that you are never afraid to say what is right, and that bravery commands my respect more than you know... You are a stubborn pain in my butt a lot of the time and i know you don't like to lose but i am glad you can listen to me so that we don't have to fight about stupid things if we communicate.... When i first met you i thought you were a bit quiet, a bit reserved but i was so wrong... you are so fun, you are so talented , you are so smart and you are so special.... you always make me smile darling and i am so grateful that you've been in my life these past 2 years....  Like your biblical namesake i know you will always proclaim God's message no matter the cost, and i want to be beside you in that, supporting you, upholding you, loving you and even taking the stones with you if the time comes. Your father in heaven is so proud of you my love... you are so hard on yourself sometimes i think you don't see it... but he has called you and named you his crown and garland... and he is so pleased with you.... i love you Stephen i am so proud of the man you are... the old and the new altogether in one you really are a Stephen and i am so glad God brought you to me.... Goodnight for now love... xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I miss you

The three things that drive me insane:

1) When i don't hear from you all day
2) When i don't feel like i'm your priority 
3) When i make you mad or frustrated at me

... and yet i did all of these things to you today... i didn't message you and you're right i didn't want to make a big deal about it but i should have because you are the most important thing in my life and yet i made you feel as though you weren't a priority...  Because of these things i made you mad/frustrated at me which is a terrible feeling for you.... and i am just so sorry. 

You are right... when we were first dating i did not always make you my priority and i was crazy about working hard and proving myself and putting my dreams first... BUT this crazy thing has happened in the last year and half... i worked super hard and i found it left me nothing but a miserable human being.... i tried to prove myself and i found God say your approval is to be found in me alone.... and finally my dream shifted... you became my dream, you became the absolute most important priority apart from God because you are a gift from God in my life and i made a decision that i would never EVER compromise that at any cost ever again... so i am offering you my apology but also my promise to you that as long as you love me i will do my best to love you better, to put you first so you know you never have to compete with anything, and to serve and look after you... i don't want to frustrate you i want to bring you joy... and im so sorry i didn't do that today.

You are my Prince Charming... and i can never ever convey that enough so i just took a little time to try to show you how much i love you!!! (just in case you can't figure it out, i'm nuts about you)

So our favourite book in the world by our favourite author puts it in exactly the right way:

i love you so much baby... i hope you know how crazy i am about you and that you will never have to compete for my love or time or attention, you are far more important to me than anything else. The thing is babe i dont want to do any of the things i am doing without you... PERIOD. You make it worth doing.

Hope your day was full of sunshine and cupcakes and joy and that you feel my love... 

...Miss you LIKE CRAZY...

night. 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

day 26

HUNNY i miss you like crazy. i feel like i left part of my heart with you. I am having such a great time and learning so much and loving being here it's beautiful and fun and interesting and there are lots of cool and fun people but the bottom line is i am so so so so so crazy about you and i am missing you so much. You make my life more fun. You are so interesting and smart and i would kill to have a conversation with you about what i am learning about. I miss you.


Prayer: Work today, that God would just continue to bring shalom to you and you could bless those around you with it... housing/money situation... that in our seperation God would do something beautiful in both our hearts.


Encouragement:


Philipians 4  Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!^(F) 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.^(G) 6 Do not be anxious about anything,^(H) but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.^(I) 7 And the peace of God,^(J) which transcends all understanding,^(K) will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Inspiration: 

Day 25

Affirmation:


So i am a terrible wait-er.... i hate waiting for presents no matter how small, and i hate waiting for things i want especially when they are big. It is literally the most frustrating thing in the world for me and makes me want to tear out my hair... but i just want to say that you're worth waiting for no matter how long it takes without pressure. i love you and i think your wonderful... and I hope you will see my willingness to wait despite how impatient i am not as frustrating but as a sign rather of how much i love and value you. Do what you need to do love to figure out your way no matter where that takes you in God's time and i will wait on him and you because i value you so much! While i am waiting i will keep working on getting better... forgive me for when i make you feel pressured. i just love you. xo


Prayer:


Patience - that you will be patient with me and i will be patient with you! Clarity! That things with the new house work out! Things with work! That talking about whats happening in your head would be helpful! Joy and good weather in the soul! I love you


Encouragement:


Since before time began 
   no one has ever imagined,
No ear heard, no eye seen, a God like you 
   who works for those who wait for him.
- Isaiah 64:4


Inspiration:

Day 24

Affirmation:

Ok so this last year we have had some adversity... actually let's rephrase that... so over the last year we have a lot of adversity (that's more accurate!)... and we are facing more... seperately and together, but basically no matter what my adversity is your adversity and your adversity is my adversity... because for this season at least (and hopefully eventually for always) we're stuck together... what's yours is mine which unfortunately has included problems as well as triumphs in the last year! But the best part of that has been the moments not when we've fallen into the others troubles but when we have been a strong support  for the other person when they were unable to be for themselves. I think we have been learning so much in the last year about how we react to adversity and how to react better, but also how to react better to each other's adversity... and i think this has made and is making us a stronger team. I just wanted to tell you in the midst of my adversity there is no one else i would rather have by my side, i really feel like I have been so blessed by God bringing you into my life~ 

Prayer:

Strength, love, understanding, calm, grace, and peace when engaging in one another's adversity and our own! That God would show us the way to take and the strength and courage to do it even when things get difficult. Work. Clarity about all things future. A sense of home. Housing costs.... 

Encouragement:

Proverbs 3:5,6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

James 1:2-4 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

1 Peter 1:6-9 In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.  Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Inspiration

Day 23

Affirmation: 


Dear love,


 i am not even feel up to writing a post today because i just feel so low... but i am waiting to have a meeting and so i started thinking what i would write when i came across this verse... Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and Courageous. Do not be Terrified, Do not be discouraged, For the Lord your God will be with you WHEREVER you may go." To me that is what i needed to hear more than any other thing in the world today... So i hope it encourages you....what also encourages me is having such an incredible man of faith by my side. God has used you more than you know to point to him as a rock of comfort for me... to remind me to keep turning to my creator when things are tough and believing he will fight for us and trusting him to provide for us and guide us in all things as we seek to do his will!




Prayer:


That we will trust God more, that we will hear his voice, that we would feel his touch in comfort, that you will have clarity as you try to figure things out at work, that you will feel peace in your day and encouragement and joy!


Encouragement:


"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and Courageous. Do not be Terrified, Do not be discouraged, For the Lord your God will be with you WHEREVER you may go." (Joshua 1:9)


Ask, and it will be given to you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. (Matthew 7:7-8)


For the people will dwell in Zion at Jerusalem; you will weep no more, for Yahweh will be gracious to you; He will hear the voice of your cry and answer you. (Isaiah 30:19)


Yahweh is close to all who call on Him—to all who call on Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him: He will hear their cry and save them (Psalm 145:18-19).


Inspiration: 

Day 22 to laugh is to live!

Hello love! I was thinking about yesterday and how playful you were and how it made me laugh and how we couldnt stop laughing in church... i love when you play with me and when you make me laugh... i think i like nothing better... i think sometimes we allow life to get so serious that we forget to laugh... i hope one of the things people will say about us one day is "we love H&M they are always laughing"... so here is a little laughter in your day... i hope it's contagious! xoxo

                                                  

Prayer: 
more laughter, a joyful light heart, a lightheartedness in our relationship and friendship, more love, direction, home, rent, THE WEATHER... that you find delight despite what is happening outside... that  you would find a home here!


Encouragement:

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. - Proverbs 17:22

Inspiration: 

I was irrevocably betrothed to laughter, the sound of which has always seemed to me to be the most civilized music in the world. 

--Peter Ustinov

An extra post at the end of an extra long (but fun!) day...

My darling - I think you are the most amazing man in the world and i can't believe how lucky i am to have you... and at the end of a long day i just wanted you to know how much i love you xo

Sonnet XLII How do I love thee?/Grow Old Along With Me - a poetic mash up 
 by Elizabeth AND Robert Browning... 

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and ideal Grace. I love thee to the level of everyday's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for Right; I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise. I love thee with a passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death. So Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, The last of life, for which the first was made: Our times are in His hand Who saith "A whole I planned, Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!"

Day 21

Affirmation: Best DATE EVER yesterday. Thanks hunny for making me feel so incredibly special and loved yesterday. You have been putting in such a huge effort lately and you have no idea how much it means to me or happy and lucky i feel. I already had the best guy in the world, but now i have one that spoils me too!!! You are my best friends and it was so great to be able to just go out with you and talk and talk. I love hearing your thoughts on life and just being with you. I know the weather is making things hard for you right now and you are struggling, but i believe God sees that struggle and he is going to bring you joy you have not yet known in the days to come (maybe even in our love ;) ) I whaley love you sweetie! 

Prayer: Housing (money), work would continue to go well as you create new strategies to spread the gospel, energy, that you would find a deep sense of home here, deep heart friendships with dudes, better weather, that you would find activities you love to do in spite of the weather that would bring you life! Our relationship - growing in friendship and love and CLARITY...(for angels to fly out of heaven and let you know one way or another in time lol)

Encouragement: I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” - Philippians 4: 11&13 


Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perserverance. Let perserverance finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything! - James 1: 2-4


Inspiration: "That was the beginning of it all. I wonder now if i had been able to see the future whether i would have sailed at all. Supposing at that moment i had been able to sense the loneliness that drove me to within a breath of madness, supposing i had seen my demastings or that huge storm in the Indian Ocean - would i have left the slipway? Yet if i had been able to see the terrors and troubles of my global voyage, i would have seen, too, the days of tremendous joy, days no man deserves this side of heaven. 
Is suppose in a way that is the choice we all face in life...to be to afraid to leave home and die of mediocrity and dreams not fulfilled, or to sail ahead assured of terrors to come, but hoping for those glorious heavenly days that no man deserves... Yes, i am sure i would have sailed - sailed through the hurricanes, the deepest hurts and hell itself, had i known the full pattern of my life."


I love you. 

Day 20 - i may be crazy but at least i am crazy about you!

Affirmation:

Ok, remember that time a couple of weeks ago when i wrote a post that said i hoped we would fall truly madly out of our heads crazy in love with each other... well i think God must be answering prayers at a rapid rate these days... because although a girl shouldn't give her cards away i think i'm warming up to you a bit ;) in case you haven't noticed... I think sometimes you hold your cards way closer to your chest than i do and it really does drive me crazy, but i hope when you finally lay them out there's a queen of hearts in your hand... because i know it can be annoying and obnoxious and a bit over the top and sometimes crazy but i really am crazy in love with you. You are an incredible man. I value who you are so much. I cannot imagine my life submitting to someone kinder or more thoughtful or more complimentary to who i am or more fun to be with or who makes me happier. I just want to make you happy. I want to be someone who helps you and encourages you and inspires you the way you do me. Could it be you love me too?

Prayer:

Work. clarity about the coming year. LOVEEE that we would love each other more and better and purer. That i would be kinder and more loving and softer to you than you could ever imagine and yet would burn with a crazy passion! That all our love would reflect Christ's love to our community. Church. God will keep looking after your heart. That you will find a sense of home away from home. deep male friends here in Canada. Blessings. 

Encouragement:

1 Corinthians 13:4-13  Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1 John 4:16-19 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By thisis love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.  We love because he first loved us

Genesis 2:18-24 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Inspiration:

Grow old with me, the best is yet to be! - Robert Browning